Conduit

Steps in learning to shave with a straight razor:

Lather face and stand trembling before mirror for 45 minutes

Begin shaving as per advice

Experience onset of woozy feeling at site of river of blood

Wake up on bathroom floor and repeat process

For the past two weeks I have looked like someone put a set of fake eyeballs in a package of supermarket ground beef. When I asked my pharmacist if he would recommend anything to coagulate razor knicks everyone in line behind me and behind the counter broke out in laughter. Still, on the few bare patches of visible skin I have an unusually close, clean feeling shave.